It's Hallowe'en!!!!

And we have all the little ghosts 'n goblins doing the rounds...

So far, just a few 'scream' masks, thank goodness...

For the most part, very cute and fun costumes!!

Two years ago I ran out of candy in about an hour--I handed out to about 125 kids in that time.

This year, Sandy and I purchased enough for 150+, so we should do well...

It's a beautiful, clear night for the kiddies, and it looks as if they're having fun.

I like the home-made costumes that soe of the kids are wearing--tres cool!

Well, back to handing out the candy!

Jeff and Jen finally had their baby! We're all pretty excited about it.

Have a boo at the pics--

Thomas Joshua Van Winden

And wish mom, dad and little T.J. all the best!

Sandy and I are home the other night, and the phone rang--I answered.

"This is So-n-So from the Something-About-Protecting-Families Coalition--what do you think about same sex marriage? Are you for it or against it?"

Caught a little off guard, I gave an answer right off the top of my head, without too much parsing and smoothness that I’m usually known for on the phone—

"I think that anyone--gay or straight--, if they so choose, should be able to get married--"

"Thank you", they cut me off.

*click* goes the phone and I’m listening to the dial tone.

First of all, this call rudely interrupted dinner with Dad and Di, so that’s the main thing...

But seriously, and much more important, and maybe I’m reading too much into it--fishing around for the answers you want to hear instead of discussing the issue with people who may disagree with you is the epitome of what’s wrong with society today--”We’re right in our stance on this issue because we won’t discuss it with people who disagree with us!”?? Yeah, that always works.

I was polite. I wasn’t confrontational, and I stated my mind openly and quickly, and the So-n-So hung up on me. Why?

The only thing I can come up with is that he didn’t like my answer in the first 3 seconds. Yep, that kind of attitude will go well in bettering our society.

If I was allowed to continue with the discussion, I’d go into the idea that any national/provincial/regional law that allows some citizens to partake in lawful benefits but does not apply to other citizens of the same country/province/region, does, as any common sense’ll dictate, make second class citizens of those that are *not* afforded the same lawful benefits--it’s the age old ‘Haves’ and the ‘Have nots’. It honestly is that simple. How can we, as a civilized society, tolerate *any* law that makes second-class citizens based on race, colour, sex, or sexual orientation?

The solution, at least for me—

Either anyone who wants to *lawfully* get married--gay or straight--should be able to do so

OR

Marriage gets stricken off the law books of the country so there’ll be no law to apply.

Those are the options that’ll fix this mess--not to the happiness of the ‘Christian right’ or whomever thinks that homosexuality is an ‘abomination’, but, again, Canadian laws have to be applied equally to everyone.

And if you don’t like my solutions, I’m more than willing to talk about them. Debate is a big part of what makes Canada great--each of us has the freedom to try and change the minds of our fellow citizens thru discourse.

Locking down discourse so you only ‘get’ one side of the issue, however, is the antithesis of what we’re all about. Not only does it belittle the issue, blocking out dissenting voices belittles us all.

So this is a message from me to So-n-So, from whatever Coalition--if you have some sort of partisan or fundamentalist point to make, at least have the guts to listen to someone with a differing opinion. If you can’t at least listen to ‘the other side’, then you shouldn’t be calling people and asking for their opinions in the first place.

It’s time for the fundamentalist partisan hacks to shut up and sit down--you’re ruining our once beautiful country and blaming everyone else for why things are ‘bad’ Talking points only, with little to no substance behind any of it. You’re not helping our country with any of your efforts.

And now you’re interrupting my dinner.

See, it's like this--

Feelings, by their very nature, are personal.

That means, since I'm pointing out the obvious, that a person has to accept personal responsibility for their feelings.

'Cause it's like this, right?--

"I'm very angry with you!" (insert 'disappointed', 'pissed', or whatever else)

See, it's the 'I' part that we forget sometimes, and we focus on the 'you' as the 'responsible' party for the feeling--in this case, anger.

But no! It's I'm angry...

What follows is the direction of the anger, but the direction does not equal responsibility.

So here it is--

I'm stating to you--the world--for the record, that I am not responsible for how you feel. Only you are responsible for how you feel.

In the past, people have stated that they were angry with me, or disappointed with me, or whatever else, and I've accepted those emotions as if they was mine. By doing so, supposedly I've alleviated the burden of those emotions from the person who gave 'em to me, but it certainly didn't help me. Sure, the person's 'comfort zone' may be re-established after throwing their emotions at me, but my 'comfort zone' is nowheres to be seen--probably hiding behind some sort of SEP field...

And then the feelings of guilt, remorse, or the 'woulda, shoulda, coulda' all start banging on my door--keeping me awake at night.

Well, no more. You're feelings of anger, disappointment, jealousy, rage... whatever else, are yours and yours alone. If you're angry due to something I did or said (or something I didn't do or didn't say), then that's your anger. You have to work that anger out--it's most definitely not my anger to work out. If, in the process of working out your 'wound up' emotions, you need to talk with me, I'm always open and willing to discuss. However, I refuse to accept your anger--it's yours to work out for yourself. I refuse to accept your bitterness--it is you who have to find ways of letting that go. I refuse to accept your disappointment--only two people in the history of my life got to pull that one, and that's 'cause they're my parents and I was a kid. They know enough not to pull that 'I'm disappointed with you' now, and since not even my parents can pull the emotional 'switcheroo' on me, what makes you think you can even try?

I'm not going to 'bend over backwards' to re-establish your comfort zone. If you have an issue, you fix it. Again, if you want and/or need to talk with me to alleviate your emotional duress--calmly and rationally--I'm more than willing. For, if you're one of my friends, your emotional balance and your comfort zone are very important to me.

But I'm not going to accept your emotional baggage as my own just so you can feel better (and me feel worse). I'm sorry, but it isn't going to happen. You start ranting in my direction, and I'm out the door. Seriously. Grow up and accept the responsibility of your own emotions. Never forget that it's the 'I' part of the 'I am angry' that's the important bit.

Many things have happened in my life--many times I felt the need to 'blame someone else', times when I've been angry or bitter at someone. And through it all, the common factor is, well, me. With that idea, the only person that I can change or 'work on' is me. See, kinda goes hand in hand. And when I realized that only I could do something about my anger, or my disappointemt, or my rage or whatever else I was feeling at the time--that only I can 'fix it', then, almost as if by magic, things got easier. Working with people got easier. Life got easier. I accepted my emotions and my emotional responses as mine and my life got better.

Anyway, this has been on my mind as of late, so I'm putting it out there.

A view by the bay

Our friend Lynda invited us up to her familys cottage in Gravenhurst. Always one wanting to see the great up north in the fall, we jumped at the chance.

So here are some pics of our walks--

Country Lane

As with everything about fall, what's not to love about the colours...

A tree in fall splendour

And the leaves blanketing the ground...

Where's the grass??

If you pay attention, you'll notice some old abandoned trails...

Good for a walk

Someone abandoned a boat in the woods...

Who wants a boat?

A brief hike up the rocky hill led to this view...

They look like ants

There's some sort of correlation to the moral about growing your roots deep and strong in the following pic, but I just can't seem to put my finger on it...

Trees fallen over

We had a great weekend! Y'know, besides the rain and hail

Thanks Joe for the use of the cottage, and thanks Lynda for inviting us up!

See all Fall in Grevenhurst pics here--Gravenhurst Weekend

I've visited eBay infrequently over the years, looking for a few specific things.

Well, completely out of my realm of comprehension, there are people out there willing to depart with LEGO!!! Yeah, I know! Crazy folks!

So, like, this is good for me, eh...

My first rule of eBay bidding has always been to not get carried away with the 'Art of Bidding'--I've seen 'bidding fever', both on-line and at private auctions--people sometimes get carried away with the fun of bidding that they'll bid, in my opinion of course, waaay too much cash for something.

So for me and eBay, I figure out waht I want to pay for whatever item, enter that number, and wait for the e-mail after the auction to see if I won or not--no last minute sniping or placing higher bids to get something.

Yes this means that I'll occasionally lose an auction for 50 cents more than my highest bid--who cares? I figured out how much money I was willing to pay for something and that's it. I sleep easier at night with this philosophy 'cause I'm not constantly checking eBay, making sure I have the highest and greatest bid.

Anyways, I recently saw an auction listing on eBay for a LEGO motor from the '60's. Thinking that an item such as a LEGO motor form the '60's would be very cool to own, I put a bid on it.

Surprise, I won!

That made me happy.

What didn't make me happy was, when I received said motor, it didn't work.

Not at all.

Grr!!!

So I sent an e-mail to the seller--

Pretty polite, no?

What happened?

Nothing. No response.

So I waited a week and sent another, worded comparably.

What happened?

Nothing. No response.

So again, sent yet another e-mail (definition of insanity, I know... but, eh...)

What happened?

Nothing. No response.

Now what?

Well, the good bit is PayPal, the paying site I use for my eBay purchases, has a resolution center for just such issues.

So I escalated the issue via PayPal.

PayPal, for those of you not in the know, is not quite a 'virtual bank', but does have the ability to take monies from your accounts and pay directly to other peoples accounts on-line. It's quite nifty and very secure (when you know what's goin' on), and therefore I use it.

So I opened an issue via the PayPal site. You can escalate the issue to the point where PayPal, should they rulein your favour, will take the money from that person and put it back in your account.

Within an hour I received a response from the seller--see, if you hit 'em where it hurts--in this case, the money--they'll respond.

Of course the seller was all, 'You bought it as is--I had no way of testing the motor!'

Well, I would have no issue with that, if the untested and 'as is' bit were actually in the original auction description.

Here's the description, captured for posterity--

The sharp-eyed among you will note that nowhere in that description is any reference to a working LEGO motor. That said, nowhere in that description is any mention of 'as is' or 'untested', either.

What is stated, almost continuously, is 'mint', as well as the words 'excellent', 'no real wear', 'no corrosion, no repairs, no cracks', 'awesome condition', 'in this nice of condition', and, my favourite bit, 'safely stored away for years'.

The implication, in my mind, is, 'Hey, it's good!'

Well, not so much.

So yes, the buyer should beware of such assumptions.

That said, the seller should beware of, well, me, 'cause I don't mind escalating things thru the proper channels. Ask around--I have no reservations about bringing the bad behaviour of people to the attention of those that are in the position to do something about it.

This isn't about me getting my 40 bucks back from a bad auction. This is about not ignoring bad behaviour in people who should know better.

We shall see what transpires.

As an aside, I can't believe there's actually a whole Wiki article for Caveat Emptor. Ahh, the internet--full of people so bored with their lives that they write this stuff... Waittaminit....

First, a web comic--Pearls before the Swine - October 14th, 2006

(see if I can hotlink the actual comic...)

Then there's this article I found on Crooks and Liars--

How I sold one copy of Bill O’Reilly’s new book

In which I read this--

Somehow, at least to me, the comic strip talking about 'Angry-Cliff, the Man-Sheep' and the run-in with the angry conservative were pretty much synonymous.

Now I'll be the first to admit that pontificating on politics is a pretty polarizing procedure, especially in public places(like that?? )...

That said, for the love of all things reasonable, would everyone please remember that we are all people, regardless of political persuasion, and, as such, all of us should have, at the very least, some semblance of manners...

'Cause sooner or later, when the politcians are done screwing everything up--and the rest of us are left with just our hats--we will need one another.

I saw a very good friend last night that I hadn't seen in years. Actually, I saw a few freinds that I hadn't seen in a long time, but I'll focus on Kassey (not her real name--names changed to protect the innocent...)

Kassey and I worked at the same company a long time ago. I was a Systms Admin (huge surprise) and she worked in the Accounting department.

So we humg out in the (very tiny) lunch room for breaks and, well, lunch, and we saw movies and went 'bar hopping' every once in a while (yeah, I know that I don't drink and all...)

Anyway, Kassey and I were great friends.

So here's the thing--the company we worked for? Not so much a great company. Yep, pretty much a very male chauvinist/sexist environment, in which the women who worked there were pretty much constantly noted for their apparel, how well their tops fit, and how well they walked thru the halls.

I tried to be a good example by not partaking in the crude jokes and treating all people at the company fairly and justly. As well, I got to hide out in the 'systems' room and really didn't have to interact wit the sexist prats that much, so my life was a little easier.

And when I left the company--pretty much didn't look back at all--was glad to get out.

Kassey worked there for a few more months after I left until she found something better. So we were talking about that last night.

Turns out that when she gave her notice that she was leaving, her boss was all, 'Can't you stay? We'll find more money for ya!' This was due to Kassey's very high work ethic and her ability to work in that environment and still get everything done in an extra-ordinary manner that actually helped the company's financial bottom line. Was she praised and/or rewarded for that whilst she was working there? Nope. But when she put in her notice, then the company falls over itself to keep her. Eh, such is business.

But that's not the point of this little rant.

So Kassey tells me last night that a few other people wanted her to stay on at the company--another woman asked her not to go--after all, the company that we both worked for wasn't that bad.

Kassey asked her--"Would you let your daughter work here?"

"God no!", was the response.

Well, there it is right there, really.

Why would it be a perfectly acceptable environment for a non-relative, yet 'God no!' for your own daughter to work at a place of business--if you have strong reservations about a company such that you wouldn't want your own kids working there, why wouldn't you have those same reservations for other people?

I dunno--that little ancedote last night from Kassey just made me think.

And so I write...

And now I'm done

From teh CNN website--McCain: Clinton's North Korea policy 'a failure'

K, where to start...

I wold remind Senator McCain that President Clinton hasn't been in power for over 5 years. If North Korea is developing and testing nuclear weapons today, then it would behoove us to look to who's responsible today and for the last 5 years.

But nope--let's blame the former president from the '90's.

And what, exactly, was the failure of Bubba?

Hmmm... back in the '90's, inspectors knew where the fuel rods were. Hey--that means that there were inspectors actually, y'know, inspecting North Korea.

And what happened when Dubya came to power?

So the albeit flawed but 'hey, it's all we got' agreememnt between multinationals and North Korea was scrapped because Dubya didn't like it. Inspectors were removed, and North Korea--wait for it--was able to develop nulcear weapons over the past 5 years with no interference 'cause, well, the U.S. is going after the big guns in Iraq. Oh wait--there were inspectors there as well before Bush removed them. And what did were the inspectors doing in Iraq? Oh right, looking for the 'We know they have them 'cause we're telling you they have 'em' weapons of mass destruction.

And here we are, in 2006 (almost 2007) and what do we have?

Iraq--no WoMD, thousands of deaths and a virtual recruitment poster for more terrorism.

North Korea--testing nukes after Dubya scrapped agreements and took out the inspectors.

K, can the people who got everything wrong for the past 5 years please, please, please take a seat now? I want to wake up to a better tomorrow, but the past 5 years, that hasn't happened.

Sandy doing some yard/garden work

So let's recap the year of the flower garden--

After winter went on its merry, it didn't take long for the hostas to start growing

And the crocuses blooming--Spring was great!

See all Spring flower garden pics here--Spring 2006

Easter weekend was good for looking at the early blooms--see more pics of the gardens at Easter here--Easter Weekend

Then we prepped the gardens--the hostas looking beautiful. More early summer pics around the house here--2006 Garden pics

The flowers just went nuts through the summer--we've never seen them get this big! Overwhelming--they must've known that we wanted them all pretty for our wedding pics...

See the great summer shots here--Summer 2006

The wedding pics in the garden. See more here--Wedding pics

But with all good things, the garden had to be taken down for winter.

Thus endeth the blooming garden. See pics of our gardening endeavours here--2006 fall pictures

It was an excellent growing season for us this year. And we had a good day prepping the garden for winter--we turned it over, raked it out, and then planted tulip bulbs--including the ones we used as wedding favours

So we'll be back again with pics of our garden next year!

From Wil Wheaton--

moods for moderns

Excellent idea!

Bab 5 episodes right to DVD??

I'm in!!

Now Joss has to get on board and we're set!

Sandy and I were driving in Kitchener, following (formerly known as) highway #8. We're on a two lane highway, and coming up to a light. Seeing that the two lanes turns into 1 lane right after the light, I'm in the lane that doesn't end.

The light's red, and the vehicles are piling up behind me--all seeing the signs that the right hand lane ends pretty shortly.

Well, Pickle Boy in a Pickup (with more chrome than sense) pulls up right beside me in the right hand lane.

Now I mentioned that the right hand lane ends right after the light. Pick-up Boy starts easing into the intersection whilst the light is still red.

The perpendicular lights turn yellow--he eases more into the intersection.

The opposite lights turn red and he almost has his whole truck past our white line.

Well, unbeknownst to both of us, the facing traffic gets an advanced green--so there was that. Of course, that didn't stop him from revving and jumping into the intersection--but then he had to slam on the brakes whilst the facing taffic came thru the intersection.

Now I'm a little ticked--I shouldn't be, I know, but I was--I mean, who is this guy.

I might say at this time that Sandy and I were in the Mighty Dodge--that plays into what's about to happen.

Seriously, our light turned green, I dropped the transmission into first, and just floored it.

Of course, so did Chrome Pick-up Truck Boy.

Didn't matter--our truck might be really old, and really rusty, and really beat up (unlike, say, the truck beside us at the time) but what it lacks in looks, it more than makes up in sheer power.

Yep, pretty much blew the doors off him--he was really red-lining it right until the lane ended, trying to outrun the Mighty Dodge, but alas, he lost.

Sandy wasn't happy with me.

A second after, I wasn't happy with me, either.

I mean, in the end, what did I prove to anyone? Was I any further ahead? It's traffic! Like weather, you can't change it!

Further adding to my guilt was the fact that it wasn't a week before when Sandy and I were sitting down for a tea with Aunt Nellie--somehow the conversation about Janis came up.

Janis, Aunt Nellie's neice (and one of our many babysitters in our early years), lost her life when she was in her early 20's. One night when driving home from having a coffee with a friend, her car was hit head-on by a drunk driver--the drunk was racing another car along a street and didn't make a turn and collided with Janis' car.

I was around 10 years old when this happened. I've heard that story many times since then--that one happening inn my childhood probably has more to do with me not drinking than any lecture from the parents thru my life.

And yet, last week I raced a dumb punk who really wasn't worth anything to me. Had anything happened, or if a cop was in the area--I could have lost the truck, my license, but most importantly--the person I care the most about.

What compares to that?

And it could happen--as above, one event that happened when I was young shows me that life is just too precious to waste on a completely frivilous issue such as someone jumping at a light.

I'm sorry, Sandy. I promised to keep you safe this past Saturday and I already screwed up.

I'm going to get back into the Zen mode for driving--No matter what's going on around me, it's all about safety and not getting angry about it.

The falls

Y'know, I've been hanging out in Bracebridge for, well, going on around 15ish years, and I had no idea about these falls.

Just off the 117 exit above Bracebridge, these falls offer spectacular photo opportunities.

Sandy knew about the falls, so en route home from Huntsville, we stopped and had a boo.

I'm really glad we stopped.

From the little trickle of water cascading over rock--

To the thunderous sound of torrents of H2O molecules shooting over the falls--

All is awe-inspiring.

As well, a quick jaunt into the woods, following a tributary to the river, contributing to the falls--

Lead us to a secluded fall scene that couldn't be beat--

Both Sandy and I love the fall--the smells, the sights, the crisp air, so High Falls was a good setting to end our little honeymoon trip.

To see all High Falls goodness, click here--High Falls

Huntsville - Day 1

Algonquin Park - Day 2

And two churches added--

All Saints' Anglican Church, Huntsville, Ontario

St. Paul's Anglican Church, Grassmere, Ontario

We're having a great trip thus far!

Take care, everyone

"Yep..."

He get's out of the elevator and pounds on the door

"Think he's going to sock him???"

*SMACK!!!*

"Yep!"

This is going to be a good one...